New Beginnings

It’s hard not to compare the first day arriving in Irún, the starting point of the Camino del Norte, with the first day arriving in Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port, the start of the Camino Francés two years ago. Getting off the train into town, I wasn’t surrounded by the swaths of pilgrims of two years ago. There was no signage signifying where to go for the Camino, and there was no line to the pilgrims’ office. There were no other people in the streets with large backpacks and walking sticks in hand—just me, on my own, walking down the streets of Irún with the locals of this Basque town going about their day. A far cry from what I experienced two years ago, going from a town seemingly built from the Camino to one that seems to hardly acknowledge it exists.

Arriving at Albergue Jakobi, the only albergue in Irún, I finally ran into other pilgrims who, like me, were eager to start their Caminos. Now a more experienced pilgrim, I found myself asking the question that seemed so ridiculous the first time I heard it two years ago: “Is this your first Camino?” I asked others, no longer surprised at their responses if it wasn’t. A man from Chihuahua, Mexico proudly said it was his fifth, and a man from within the region shared it was his seventh, others their firsts, and myself my second.

Though vastly different, the day wasn’t void of nostalgia from my first Camino. As the doors opened to the albergue, I quickly found the basket of shells, picking one out just as I had two years ago, and tied it to the space where the shell of my last Camino had occupied. Shortly after, I completed the ritual that kept me so present two years ago: making a bed, shower, laundry, dinner with pilgrims, and now writing this entry—and soon after, bed. Excited, but also a little intimidated for what’s to come, wondering who these other pilgrims—now strangers—will end up to be to me by the end of the Camino, and who I will be to myself as well.

“What Am I Doing?”

It’s crazy how sure you can be of something and then some doubt slips in and can cause a spiral. Lack of sleep doesn’t necessarily help, and from what I’ve learned, jet lag wrecks my mental health. And by that I mean the irregular sleep and eating schedules two things I often neglect while traveling. I spent a lot of today thinking that maybe with the time I should have done something I’ve never done before, pursued a new experience. A mini freak out. Being alone with your thoughts can be peaceful but also chaotic depending on your state of mind. However a little time near the ocean of San Sebastián allowed me to clear my mind a bit. It’s nice how the waves have the ability to ground you like that. I flew into Madrid yesterday body wrecked from the red eye flight and took a train this morning to San Sebastián. Tomorrow I take a 20 minute bus ride to Irún where I’ll start my pilgrimage. I was hoping the two days of rest before would be enough to somewhat reset my biological clock, or at least get the doubts out of the way.

Reflection: Pre-Trip Anxiety

Maybe I’m packing too much. Maybe I’m packing too little. Did I forget to buy anything? What if I needed to prebook more? I’m forgetting something, I know it. What if I don’t finish? What am I doing?

The pre-trip anxiety always hits me like a brick in the hours leading up to a big trip. You would think that after having done so many adventure trips, I would be able to stay calm, cool, and collected. But I guess that wouldn’t be congruent with how I am in all the other moments I’m not on a trip. Anxiety is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. Combined with my ADHD, I don’t blame myself for constantly checking my plane ticket to make sure I didn’t book the wrong time or date, or for worrying that I forgot to pack something critical. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t made similar mistakes in the past.

But having been here before, I know these moments pass. My travel experience, including some horrible outcomes like getting lost, losing my phone, and being evacuated, has helped me realize that worst-case scenarios are generally not life or death. So even though my brain loves to spin uncontrollably, especially before month-long solo trips to other countries, I know I’ll be able to figure it out. These feelings will pass once I’m in the moment.

The edge of the cliff is always the scariest part, heart racing, thinking of everything that could go wrong, the sinking in your stomach of looking over the edge, your bodies natural resistance to danger but once you jump and are in the air, all you can think about is bracing for the water below. I find that part easier to deal with, and honestly, I find it somewhat peaceful.

What Makes Someone Walk 500 Miles?-Again-

“What motivates someone walk 500 miles across the North of Spain” I asked two years ago as I prepped for my first Camino, the Camino Frances. Over 41 days, 560 miles, and many blisters later, I found my answer, and more importantly, I found not just why people do it, but why people needed it, myself included. The Camino Frances was to this day, my favorite travel experience. It was everything I was hoping for and more. The best way I can describe it to people quickly is I tell them it was like going into a book; with its unique characters you meet of all nationalities, beautiful landscapes, shared goal of making it to Santiago, shared pain both physical on the trail and as we shared our struggles from home. Everyone on the trail was seeking something larger than themselves whether it was peace, adventure, or personal growth. It wasn’t a vacation or a trip but more of a quest, a pilgrimage. To be honest, I wasn’t much of a believer in pilgrimage before I completed the Camino Frances, but now I’ve fully drank the Kool-Aid and now with 3ish months free (More on that later) I find myself yet again at the foot-hills of another Camino; The Camino Del Norte to be specific.

The Camino Del Norte, much like the Camino Frances is an ancient 500+ mile pilgrimage to the tomb of the apostle St. James the Greater in Galicia Spain. It has grown to be one of the world’s most popular and moving pilgramages with thousands completing it every year. This particular pilgrimage begins at the border of France and Spain in Irun, spain and lines the coast of Northern Spain until it reaches Santiago Compostela, the location of the tomb of St. James. I’ll go with nothing but what I can carry on my back, staying in hostels along the way, a humbling but hopefully satisfying experience.

Camino Del Norte Route

With The Camino De Santiago already crossed off my bucket list, many ask why do it again? Why not go to a place you’ve never been an experience you’ve never had? The pressure to constantly go to new places is heavy among backpacking communities, to check another country off of your list. However some of the most fulfilling experiences I’ve had have been returning to the same country. For example, with family in Mexico, my repeated visits not only have made it a place that I’ve visited and experienced but a place with which I can have a relationship. As I’ve visited more places, I’ve also realized that the trips are much more fulfilling based on seeking a specific experience in that place rather than the place itself. After all, the Camino Frances was my second time visiting Spain (The first being a weeklong vacation to Catalonia) both experiences were radically different to a larger degree than even visiting another country would’ve been.

So why now? What is the nagging to have this experience again? Well I’ve found myself in a transitionary period of life. After surviving one-too-many quarter life crisis, I’ve made the difficult decision to step away from my beloved job The Director of Graduate Support and Enrichment at San Miguel School of Tulsa and pursue my an accelerated nursing program. San Miguel, a non-tuition private Catholic school for low-income students is a place I have poured my heart and soul into the last five years, even allowing me the opportunity to establish the graduate support program as well as various after school and sports programs. Although I am excited for what the future will bring, taking leaps is always hard, walking away from a community I love is hard, but I know to better myself, future, and grow in my abilities to serve the community, It is a decision I needed to make. So in this transitionary period, what better way to take a step back and reflect on whats been and whats to come than fill it with the thing that created so much space for reflection the last time; a Camino. This time however, I also want to use this journey to catalyze an opportunity to give back and am using my Camino and departure from San Miguel as a way to fundraise for the creation of a scholarship fund for alumni of San Miguel pursuing post-secondary education.

While leading graduate support initiatives at San Miguel, the number one question I would get always revolved around “How can I get scholarships” or “What scholarships can I apply for”. With the creation of this scholarship fund, the hope is two-fold, aid our alumni financially as they pursue their dreams and might not otherwise have the opportunity, and also send them a message, that yes, you belong in higher education.

So as you follow my journey I please ask you take some time to generously donate to this project of mine. As not only a farewell to the community I’ve grown to love but also to support the futures of the most vulnerable. I hope to post regularly and challenge myself creatively with this blog and other forms of media. Buen Camino.

Fundraising Goal $5100 -$10 for every mile of the Camino Del Norte

*Any one who matches my initial donation of $500 will receive a blessed Shell, the symbol of St. James and the pilgrimage,

*Include any intentions you’d like me to carry with me on this pilgramage on the comments section of the donation page.

To Learn more about the impact of San Miguel’s mission, please watch the video below